Cobra Pie
by TinySprite
Summary: Inspired by twitter. There's actually pie Beach won't touch.


TinySprite: (hopping around, shaking one leg) OFF, GET OFF! I'M WRITING IT ALREADY!

Rabid Plot Bunny: (snarls, sinking teeth in further)

Random Joes and greenshirts: (Just staring)

Tunnel Rat: (sighing) I've got the disclaimer.

**Disclaimer:** TinySprite does not own GI Joe, which is copyright of Hasbro. This was inspired by a Twitter conversation.

(-)

BeachHead grumbled to himself as he pushed a squeaky shopping cart down an aisle. It had a rusted wheel that nearly refused to move and it wasn't helping his bad mood. Neither was the fact that he couldn't wear much of his normal attire, which meant no balaclava, no flak jacket, and his more noticeable weapons had been left back with the others. To top this all off was the near-illegible list he had in one hand, which was supposed to state what he needed to get. The sloppy cursive seemed to mock him every time Beach consulted it, making him frown in concentration and grumble even more.

Trying to figure out if the next item was wood chips for barbecue or actual barbecue chips, the sergeant major decided that Airtight needed a either refresher course or to stop writing in cursive. Forcibly maneuvering the cart around a corner at the end of the aisle, Beach decided to just get both, since meat was also on the list.

Glancing to see the next item, he forced down the temptation to just call the others and ask what they needed. If he missed anything, then they could come back here and get it themselves. 'Here' was Barco's Bargains, which was basically a small-town version of Walmart. From what he could tell, it had started out as the town's only real grocery store that had been expanded to also offer clothing, a small section of movies and music, and even a small outside lot for plants.

The only reason BeachHead was even here himself was because he'd been the only one with the free time for it. Back at the apartment, Airtight and Barbecue were going over the building plans of the town's oil refinery, where there was a suspected Cobra presence. Breaker had just gotten off his shift at the equipment and was sleeping, or he had been when Beach left.

Finally deciding the next item was peanut butter, the Joe looked upwards at the aisle signs to see where the items would be. Seeing that the charcoal was closest, he got that first, followed by the chips an aisle over. Trying to locate the peanut butter was harder, and he decided to get the meat first since he was near the deli anyway.

A hand written sign on a piece of neon orange poster taped to a flimsy metal stand stated there was a sale on frozen pies, buy two get one free. Feeling his mood perk up, Beach looked to see what types they had only to find that there wasn't anymore left. His mood plummeted straight back down, earning a glare at the empty shelves from the irate sergeant major.

Returning to the deli, he debated whether or not to ask the bored looking employees if they had more pies in stock. One of the men scratched at his arm, pushing the white sleeve up just enough to expose part of a tattoo. Something about the curved lines and red ink tugged in the Ranger's memory, putting him on the defensive.

However, it was the distinctive shouting of certain bike riders coming from beyond an open 'Employees Only' door that sealed it. Not having to fake irritation at the list, Beach dragged the cart into an empty enough corner and pulled out his cell, dialing in the temporary number. Breaker picked up after the third ring, mumbling, "Hello?"

BeachHead smoothly replied, "Hey Bernie, they're out of that soda you wanted. Want me to get donuts instead?"

There was a slight pause before Breaker answered, "Only if there's plenty."

Beach glanced about, "Trust me, there is."

A soft 'pop' came before Breaker spoke again, "Sure sure. Just hurry back."

He hung up after confirming that, checking to make sure no one was watching before walking away from the cart, slipping his cell phone back into his pocket. Nonchalantly folding the list before placing that in his pocket as well, BeachHead calmly walked out of the store.

Catching sight of the store's sign again as he climbed in the rental, he rolled his eyes at the realization he missed before. Pulling out of the parking lot to drive back to the apartment, Beach suddenly felt glad the store had been out of pie. He'd rather have no pie than pie that supported Cobra, though now he seriously wanted some.

A few days later, after the Joes had cleared out the town, which turned out to be almost entirely Cobra-inhabited, BeachHead received a very nice treat while doing paperwork back at the Pit. It came in the form of Cover Girl bringing lunch for both him and herself, with pie for dessert. He gladly took a break for that.

(-)

Tiny: Okay, that's all I'm writing. I'm serious here bunny! This is not becoming multi-chapter! (looks at readers) Sorry about that, bunny's grumpy. Feedback is appreciated!

Rabid Plot Bunny: (In a cage with a note saying 'Free Plot Bunny' tape to the bars, snarling)

Tiny: Now that this is done, I offer a challenge to any who can write a better one! ….Not that that would be too hard...(grumbles to self while limping off to bandage bunny-inflicted wounds)


End file.
